Writing down every physical, emotional, environmental and spiritual discourse in my life was the beginning of my transformation. I had to look at all aspects of my life to see how they were interconnected.
Typically when we feel discomfort, pain, or negativity, we numb it with drugs, alcohol, overwork, lash out and blame someone else, or ignore it. This is a state of blindly avoiding our own pain. It's too painful to go there!"
But what if everything that was displayed on my list was how I was reacting to my life? The interconnectedness between my body and my beliefs made me delve further into the causation of my disease.
The body demonstrates 'dis-ease' by giving warning signals; headaches, joint aches, stomach issues, weight gain, skin eruptions, etc. If these "warnings" go unchecked, it can develop into something more chronic; inflammation, irritable bowels, food sensitivities, diabetes, migraines, weight gain, ovarian cysts, heart issues, thyroid issues, and the list goes on.
Only a mere 4% of the American population are born with a genetic disease, so we have to look closer at the onset of illness as a psychosomatic response from within our environment and our body.
Modern medicine in the United States, although revolutionary in its technology and sciences, is not effieciently translating down to the individual citizen due to bureaucratic financial strain, as well as lack of a sustainable delivery system.
So we have to become our own 'biohacker.' You already know the answers to your issues, but it's facing them that will be the hardest step.
Again, this is a Body approach to healing, but it's not really where we should start.
My wake-up call to this revelation was when I finally met with a doctor of functional medicine. I had full body hives for several months and was put on Prednisone multiple times, saw many specialists that only speculated why I had hives.
This doctor told me very bluntly that I was not happy in my marriage, and I needed a divorce. This was in the first five minutes of meeting me. He explained the stress manifested itself into hives. At first, I denied it, but then my wheels began to turn. He was 100% correct. I had been living in fear for MUCH too long and needed to get real with myself.
I was married for 18 years. Issues emerged early on in the relationship, yet I kept plugging along thinking, if I loved him more, he'd want to change. Yes, I know the operative word there, "change," but for who? My Catholic upbringing kept me trudging through it, as well as hearing all of my life that marriage was "hard."
I tried to keep it going for our daughter's sake, thinking once she was in college I'd leave if things didn't change. However, my body was slowly showing signs of distress, and I was the one needing to change.
The doctor's diagnosis was that first "push" into finding my Path. I had just finished reading Gary Zukav's book, The Seat of the Soul, after watching him speak on Oprah years prior, and his words resonated in my heart.
We are whole and complete Souls on a journey learning the lessons necessary to become our higher self. We aren't here to change others but work on ourselves first. This emotional awareness is key to our growth, but how do we develop it?
Being aware of the physical pain we have in our bodies when we become angry, jealous, hurt, sad, depressed is the first step.
I learned through Zukav's words to be aware of the physical pain within our body when we experience negativity. This will show us what we really fear.
The foundation of every single negative emotion is fear, and Zukav explains that the pain will tell you what you're afraid of. For example, I would get a painful sensation in my throat, stomach and heart area when my husband would get mad.
These are our emotional centers in our body. My throat showed me I was not being heard or understood. My gut was my power center, and I was allowing my husband to take away my power. My heart center was demonstrating my need to be loved, and I feared I was not lovable.
These 'warning signals,' left unchecked will eventually manifest into a disease.
I could see I had a lot of lung/breathing issues as a child. My lungs told me that even when I was a young girl my opinions, thoughts and feelings were not heard. I used to yell a lot! However, once I realized years later that this was my body reaching out to me to learn how to be heard, I stopped yelling and started writing. I no longer deal with breathing issues now, unless I'm avoiding expressing my needs.
The Emotional Root of Disease
I wanted to know more about what my body was trying to tell me, so I made my list and looked up the emotional root of these diseases:
Bouts of bronchitis and coughing, plus lung issues as a teen
Ruptured ovarian cysts, endometriosis
There are studies now examining the physical and emotional connections to disease. This of course was realized eons ago in civilized cultures. Hippocrates' doctrine believed the body contains within itself the power to re-balance and heal itself.
Find Out Your Mind-Body Connection to What's Ailing You
In Louise Hay's book, Heal The Body, she shares an extensive chart on the mind-body connection of disease. I also used various charts online to find one that I resonated with. These are ones you can try:
What My Ailments Taught Me About Me!
After learning about the emotional root of disease, I was shocked by the correlation of the choices we make, and what manifests.
I discovered that my ovarian cyst issues were possibly generated due to the lack of time I was putting toward my creative side. I wasn't enjoying my passion, which was writing. The more I resisted putting time toward it, the worse my ovarian pain got. I stopped writing for over two years during my marriage, and I was rushed to the hospital with ovarian cyst ruptures three times! That was the universe screaming at me to get busy writing!
Years prior, I met a woman with pituitary gland issues. Her life resonated with what she did not want to examine in her life. Illnesses with the pituitary gland are believed to be due to wanting to control your environment.
She was a very controlling person, creating a world where everything had to be her way. Everyone tiptoed around her. If things didn't go her way, she would explode. Ironically, she had other head ailments which are said to be other signs she was stuck with rigid thoughts on religion and spirituality, as well as carrying prejudices. She judged me severely when I told her I was getting a divorce, and now I knew why.
I would have loved to show her how her inability to let go of control was causing her havoc with her health and wellbeing. But, it was not my place to tell her. Hopefully, she will get a 'push' from the universe to go inward and learn.
Having this knowledge about the emotional root of disease, helps you become compassionate about everyone's struggles. You can see deeper into their journey than what they are sharing on the outside. I wrote about this in My Message to My Father Transitioning.
I knew the various symptoms and diseases he suffered from, and I was able to see him as not only my father but a soul here to learn lessons necessary for his growth. I was grateful to read what his emotional struggles were through the physical aliments since most fathers wouldn't want to share. It helped me understand him on a deeper level, and relate to his beliefs and thoughts more compassionately.
How to Begin To Heal
The emotional roots of my illnesses were the following:
Lack of Self-love
Standing up for myself
Believing in myself and my gifts
So, as a researcher, I started googling books, workshops, and podcasts in all of the areas I needed to work on. Ironically, things seemed to appear in my path to show me the way.
A friend would mention a book to read, Oprah would have a guest speaking on the exact subject I needed to hear, an event would happen in town on the very topic I required healing on, as well as situations would occur to help me practice these painful lessons. My daughter gave me a book that taught me how to trust my intuition by practicing journaling, something I would have never sought out to do.
Once I started putting into practice the things I needed to learn, my health began to remarkably improve. I rarely get sick, I've lost all the extra weight, and now I feel energetically alive!
Your Relationships Will Become Your Teachers to Heal You
Once you realize what your life lessons are to learn, you will meet people who will unknowingly become our teachers. We may not embrace each one, but will one day realize they came into our lives to help us heal.
My ex-husband was my teacher to learn about self-love. I didn't love myself enough to leave a person that was emotionally and physically abusive.
I saw this pattern early on in my life, allowing an older sibling to minimize my existence. I knew if I didn't learn self-love, I was destined to repeat this pattern again, and again in other relationships.
I learned self-empowerment, speaking up for my needs, and possibly the most critical thing, forgiveness. My hives disappeared four days after seeing that doctor. I knew it was because I began my path to healing.
A brief encounter with a colleague was the shining light I needed to send me on my inner journey. Laura stopped me in the hall and asked how I was doing, and I didn't give her the typical answer that morning. She looked at me with surprise and told me I should read, The Science of Mind, by Ernest Holmes.
I had just finished reading Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now, and his book, The New Earth, so I was ready for a book that could guide me to a new perspective on how to change my path.
I met a man that I fell in love with after my divorce taught me several difficult lessons. I wouldn't wish these lessons upon anyone, but yet I knew I had to go through them to truly understand.
He taught me to trust my intuition and gut again. I learned that we have divine guidance when we sincerely ask for it. I learned that we have a team of loving beings that will show us how amazing our lives can be if we just get out of our own way. I learned about self-worth and never allowing someone to manipulate my heart.
And, then there is Rich. We had been together since our first date three years ago, and he has never left my side since.
I am learning that he is with me to heal my heart and help me believe that I am worthy of so many incredible things. He has taught me to let go and allow the universe to take care of me.
He has shown me what commitment and love are all about. He has shown me what a man can do in his life with conviction, integrity, humility and the belief in doing what's right for the greater good.
I know there will be more lessons with Rich, and I'm relishing every day I get to spend with him. I'm grateful for all of the experiences I needed to learn in order to grow.
By listening carefully to what my body was trying to tell me and my emotional awareness, I was able to find the answers I was missing to help my mind, body, and soul flourish.
I wish you the best on your journey to empower yourself to become the best you can be. We are all a work in progress, and there are so many things to learn while we are here.
Why not make the best of it, and dare to be the best you know how to be!